Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
