i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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