The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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