While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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