I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dear god my vagina.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
