Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
