Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
