Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
