i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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