CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
