I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
