I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
