Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
