return my video game
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
