I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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