You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Enjoy the penises
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
