You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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