the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you would pick up someone in the library
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
