I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
