Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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