I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
