Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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