so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
