"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize