wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
