i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
