i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
