Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Farmville is her only friend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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