I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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