I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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