You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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