it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
