Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
