Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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