"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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