just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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