smell my finger.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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