well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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