dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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