Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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