There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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