Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
