The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
