Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
