I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
MIDGETS
????
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
