i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
