So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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