I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
