Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
