I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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