Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
