Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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