is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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