drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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