Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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