so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
