I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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