i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
