If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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