you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize