the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
