My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
