i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize