OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't turn off my feet"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
