Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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