Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
