I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
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