I must be too annoying 4 u.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
